Presumed to be awesome.

I have LOTS of things I want to talk to y'all about today, like some fic pet-peeves, and how Lady Gaga is making me eye-roll so hard it's starting to hurt, and Cheeks' hilarious remix of her new single, and the Grammys, and how ridiculously HOT Adam looked at the Grammys, and the new (wet & shirtless!) pictures of Darren. Yeah, lots of things, that I'll get to later today.

First, though, let me tell you about all the amazing things I've been learning...from drag queens. I've been watching RuPaul's Drag Race this season, because Sutan Amrull, Adam's amazing make-up artist, also known as Raja, is competing. Raja is fabulous and I'm thoroughly enjoying the show. I wasn't expecting, however, all the valuable life wisdom there was to glean from beautiful drag queens! Seriously, y'all. These queens are amazing and have a thing or two to teach the world about being fierce and fabulous and courageous and authentic and funny. And, yeah, I'm a little bit in love with all of them. *g*

One of the things that Rupaul does in every episode is he reminds the girls that "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" This is TRUFAX, people. True fucking facts.

And last night, as I was up all night, again, hacking up a lung and basically not being able to BREATHE (ugh. I'm so OVER being sick!), I thought about that and realized that I haven't been doing a very good job of loving myself lately. Admittedly, it's ~challenging to feel love for yourself, for your body, when it feels as if it's betrayed you by throwing out the welcome mat for every germ and virus that comes knocking at the door.

But that's the thing, right? Love, all love including self-love, is forged and made a real and solid and lasting thing, not by its expression when it's easy, but by what it does and says when it's NOT easy to love.

So, today, I'm going to work on loving myself better. *nods* This will be my Valentine's to myself. <333

( This is how I'm going to start.... )

Happy Valentine's Day to MEEEEEEE!!!! <333

And, you know, if anyone would like to join me in a self-love orgy (mmmm...sounds dirty! *g*) in the comments, please feel free to do that! Tell me three things you love about you, three awesome things about yourself, and three ways you're going to love yourself this week! Let's make it a lovefest!!! Because in the immortal words of RuPaul, if you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else? *mwah*

Glee!!!!!! Last night's episode was fabulous! Is Idina Menzel's character going to be recurring? Because that would be sort of awesome. I am SO looking forward to next week's Madonna episode though! And even though I loved last night's Glee, my favorite part was the last four minutes. This is fantastic!!!



Oh, man, Sue Silvester is my favorite snarktastic, fabulously fierce bitch ever!!!!!

So, um, yeah, I guess I'm all aboard the Glee train after all. You can probably ignore all earlier comments about me not being able to get into it. *sheepish*

This probably means that I should get me some Glee icons. Does anyone have Glee icon finding suggestions for me?

I watched more T.V. last night that I normally do, because there was no way I was going to miss Adam on American Idol. Adam's advice was spot on. Unfortunately, too many of the contestants didn't listen to him. The performances were flat, uninspired, BORING. I was unimpressed. BUT, Adam was pretty! So there was that. And, I'm pretty sure Ryan Seacrest was high. Seriously, WTF was that??? Adam though!!! Yeah, I think I'll just keep focusing on the positive. *g* And tonight he performs! As Rhyan says, "MORE A-LAM!" *beams*

You know what else? Hot baseball players!!! I kinda really like hot baseball players! I bet y'all didn't even know that about me, right? *g* And while I'm by no means a Dodgers' fan, I do appreciate the hot boys in Dodger blue. GQ did a piece on Matt Kemp and, dear gods, that boy is lookin' good. *bites lip*



And how is it that I didn't know he had such delicious ink on his arms??? Good gods, I hope Rihanna is appreciating the hell outa that! ( Here, have some more of Matt's smokin' hot arms! )

Also, while we're on the topic of baseball, I'm expecting my boys to pick it up in Chavez Ravine tonight. Yesterday's performance was just unacceptable. Please do be doing better, boys.

And this has absolutely nothing to do with anything else in this post (which I think is a running theme here!), but I thought it expressed really well my perspective on health and weight loss and my Take Care of Me focus: My Relationship With Food: A Reflection of Self.

- Congratulations to National League Champions the Philadelphia Phillies!!! *pops champagne and throws confetti* Also, I think I'm smitten with Shane Victorino. He was miked in yesterday's game and he's just adorable and funny and self-effacing and, well, ADORABLE! *g*

- OMG!!! ONE WEEK FROM TODAY WE WILL BE IN NEW ORLEANS!!!!!!! *spazzes* I have approximately two million things to do before then, including a mile-long work related "to do" list. But, I don't care because in exactly 7 days there shall be musical merry-making, drunken revelries, and all sorts of fun-filled shenanigans!!!

- Fuck you very much Senator McCain and your air quote disdain for women's health. (At this point of the debate my rage was maxed out, so I watched baseball and the adorable Shane Victorino instead.)

- I'm getting my hair cut this evening! Not a moment too soon. *studies split ends*

- Today I'm celebrating a slightly belated Love Your Body Day. ( What is Love Your Body Day? )

So, today I'm going to love my body exactly as it is. Today, because I love my body, I'm going to care for it by feeding it nutritional and delicious food, by being active, by giving it the rest it needs, and by treating it to loving and pampering care. Today I'm going to think and speak well about my body. Who's gonna join me in loving your bodies today? *beams*

October. I love this month! While you wouldn't know it was Fall by the high temperatures here in the Arizona desert, you can still tell that the summer heat has broken -- the mornings and evenings are once again cool, and sometime toward the middle of the month our midday temperatures will hit perfection. Plus, you know, I've got the MLB playoffs on my t.v. screen, so you know it's October!

October is a contradictory month for me. One the one hand, it's the beginning of the dark time of the year which is very much an introspective, going inside, staying home, hermit-y, thinky time of year for me. On the other hand, because the summer heat here is so extreme, any break in that feels very fresh, like a new start, and I'm motivated to start projects, recommit to goals, and just generally DO things. During the Fall and early Winter, I often find myself balancing these two pulls -- in or out, think or do, isolate or socialize.

All this to get to my point: I rejoined Weight Watchers today (part of that recommitting to goals and just generally "doing" thing that I was talking about). Since I'm on a brief, economically-induced hiatus from Trainer!Boy, I really needed some other method of accountability. But, I really didn't want to deal with the rah-rah of meetings (hermit-y much? See, I told you I was full of contradictions this time of year), so I'm doing the online program. I mention it here in order to add another layer of accountability. That would be y'all. *g*

All this is related to the tattoo I got last week -- which, by the way, is at that itchy, dry, skin-peely, really fucking annoying stage *resists the urge to scratch* -- or, more precisely, to my motivation for recommitting to my health and wellness goals. There are several layers of personal symbolism for the dragonfly, the knot, and the spiral, that I may deconstruct here some day, but one of the things that the tat as a whole represents for me is the concept of loving myself, as I am. Before doing all the work I've done in the past couple of years around body image, self love, self-acceptance, I had always thought I'd get ink when I had lost X pounds, or when I was skinny enough, or when I was wearing a certain size, etc., etc., etc. It was a symbolism of beauty that I never thought myself worthy of. Well, obviously I'm over that. *g* And it's from that perspective that I rejoined WW: I love myself, as I am, and I therefore want to care for myself with healthy nutritional decisions and regular exercise.

Hm. I didn't think I was going to get so verbose. Anyway, yes, it's October!!! What's your favorite thing about this month?