*rubs eyes*
Oct. 9th, 2007 10:02 amOh, gods. I'm so very tired. I could not sleep last night. Gah!!! And there is not enough coffee in the world to clear this layer of fuzz from my brain today. I've got a fuckton of things to do today too. So I'll be mainlining the caffeine and whining my way through the next eight hours.
On the brighter side of things...WINCON!!! In two days!!! I'll be flying in to L.A. Thursday afternoon. I'm so excited! I can't wait to see everyone!
But I may also be freaking out just a bit on the inside. Just a little. I usually do ok in social situations. At least I think I do. I'm friendly and approachable. And I'll go up and introduce myself to people I don't know. I can manage small talk, especially around fannish topics. But, in my head at least, there's all this awkwardness and not fitting in and feeling inadequate and just GAH! I'm pretty sure that most of the social awkwardness happens only in my head and that I'm able to fake it pretty well on the outside. On the other hand, I may actually be just as socially awkward externally as I feel internally. Who knows. Whatever. I'll get over it, I'm sure. And I'll have a fabulous time, I'm sure. And you all will be kind and gracious even if I am socially awkward, I'm sure. But I still have that little squirmy bit of anxiety on the inside over the whole thing. *sighs*
Ok. Insecurities out on the table. Moving on, now.
What else? Oh, yes. On par with my recent insanity, I have an airline ticket to Austin for tomorrow to catch Steve's show and spend a night hanging out with the lovely
annkiri. (I know! I know! I direct your attention to aforementioned insecurities. Please don't judge me! *facepalm*) I'm not sure yet if I'm going to go, though. It'll depend on how much work I get done today.
That's it for me. I have to get to that fuckton of work I mentioned. And another cup of coffee. Please, gods, more coffee NOW.
On the brighter side of things...WINCON!!! In two days!!! I'll be flying in to L.A. Thursday afternoon. I'm so excited! I can't wait to see everyone!
But I may also be freaking out just a bit on the inside. Just a little. I usually do ok in social situations. At least I think I do. I'm friendly and approachable. And I'll go up and introduce myself to people I don't know. I can manage small talk, especially around fannish topics. But, in my head at least, there's all this awkwardness and not fitting in and feeling inadequate and just GAH! I'm pretty sure that most of the social awkwardness happens only in my head and that I'm able to fake it pretty well on the outside. On the other hand, I may actually be just as socially awkward externally as I feel internally. Who knows. Whatever. I'll get over it, I'm sure. And I'll have a fabulous time, I'm sure. And you all will be kind and gracious even if I am socially awkward, I'm sure. But I still have that little squirmy bit of anxiety on the inside over the whole thing. *sighs*
Ok. Insecurities out on the table. Moving on, now.
What else? Oh, yes. On par with my recent insanity, I have an airline ticket to Austin for tomorrow to catch Steve's show and spend a night hanging out with the lovely
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That's it for me. I have to get to that fuckton of work I mentioned. And another cup of coffee. Please, gods, more coffee NOW.